You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January, 2007.
It’s a very bad idea to send a Bic clear barreled ball point pen through a wash cycle and then into the dryer. Somewhere along the way it gets a little overwrought and begins to cry blue ink. I, of course, didn’t notice the hysterical pen until after the dry cycle was complete and the entire inside of my dryer, along with the clothing therein, was streaked with blue ink.
Thought you’d like to know.
(The pen was in the pocket of the jacket I wear at school in my classroom. . .I was washing it and all of the blankets to kill the germs. I wonder if blue ink doubles as a disinfectant.)
*Edited: If you TRULY want the TOTAL experience of the minutiae you are about to read, then start with the post BELOW this one.*
So the helpful if not happy pharmacist at Wal-Mart took the $50 inhaler chamber back. . .and then I went to Walgreens. . .and sat in the drive-thru line for so long that I finally picked up the glow top that Sick Child 2 had received as a treat for memorizing her latest chapter in Psalms, and began to spin it in the cup holder out of sheer and complete boredom. It was also at this time that I pondered my own sanity and then remembered that I am, indeed, sane, and that neither of my children has anything horrible (too many sites here to link to–but you know what I mean), so what’s a little waiting and top spinning compared with, say, leukemia? Nothing at all.
At this point, I spun the top so perfectly that is just kept going and going and going and going as though the Energizer Bunny had control of it. I was almost sad to have to pull up in line–it spun for like 3 minutes.
Then Susan the Helpful Pharmacist’s Assistant said, “May I help you?” and thus our relationship began. . .because they were OUT of the inhaler chamber that I was supposed to get even though I had CALLED to make sure they had it–they do, indeed, CARRY it, but they did not currently HAVE one. So Susan, seeing my panic and noticing the skin beginning to peel back from my skull said, “Give me one minute.” Then she typy-type-typed on her computer probably thinking, “Oh my great heavenly days this woman’s skull is going to explode if I don’t do something immediately if not sooner.” Then she said, while averting her eyes, “I HATE to ask you to do this, but could you circle around?” She was probably contemplating escape through the fire exit.
Once I “circled around” I waited and waited and waited–and then The Pharmacist gave me and inhaler chamber–but not the cough syrup. So I asked for that too–then I said, “What is your assistant’s name?” and The Pharmacist glanced nervously at me, then glanced at Susan, then said, “Her?” and I said, “Yes.” and she said “Susan.” and I said, “Please, tell Susan I said ‘Thank you so much for being incredibly helpful.’” At which point she did and Susan looked at me–with my skin and skull intact and smiled and waved as I smiled back and mouthed “Thank You” through the glass that Susan will probably check later to make sure it is bullet and splitting skull proof.
The end.
You know you’re a mother during cold and flu season when. . .
. . .you are standing in line to drop off the prescriptions for Sick Child 1 and your phone rings. It is not your husband calling to check on Sick Child 1. It’s the school nurse telling you that your other child is now running fever. And you’ve already gotten a sub for tomorrow because of Sick Child 1, but have called the secretary to cancel the sub since Sick Child 1 was cleared to go back to school tomorrow.
So now you have to call the secretary back AGAIN (who laughs uncontrolably at you–especially since she’s known you since before you were married or had Sick Children 1 OR 2) to get the sub back since Sick Child 2 is also feverish.
Then you proceed to fill your shopping cart with all manner of juices and soups and the all important box of Premium Brand Crackers because to save time, you went to WalMart rather than Walgreens to fill your prescription since they have juice and soup and crackers and oranges and they also have (so you’ve heard) $4 generic drugs–except YOUR drugs for Sick Child 1 cost $90!!!!!!!! (The AeroChamber Plus inhaler tube thingy costs $50 alone.) Then, once you buy the food and gold bullion medicine and LEAVE (and gas up the truck), you spend several stressful minutes on the phone with the Doctor’s Nurse since the doctor didn’t put the cough medicine on the prescription note AND you didn’t notice until you got home AND you happen to mention the incredibly expensive inhaler tube thingy and Doctor’s Nurse says, “Walgreens has it for $19.99″ and Walgreens is your normal pharmacy.
Don’t you like how I save time?
So now I get to take the inhaler BACK to Wal-Mart and then go to Walgreens to get the cough medicine she forgot to prescribe (she’s 8 months pregnant so I can’t blame her) and get the $20 el-cheapo inhaler chamber. I would have had to go to Walgreens anyway for the cough medicine, but still.
All this after I made a fool of myself in front of Pregnant (not our regular) Doctor thinking that tomorrow was the 1st of February and even quoted the lovely little poem for her then she pointed to the calendar and I was very embarrassed. Of course, if she was feeling at all superior, we’re now even since she forgot to prescribe one of my son’s drugs.
Never mind that I am also none too chipper, but now that two children are ill that has pretty much gone by the wayside. Everyone except Tony is staying home tomorrow–even the one that’s been cleared to go back to school. Sick Child 2 has been given a dose of Motrin which has made her feel well enough to become Demanding and also Particular.
Is there anyway to circulate Lysol through one’s air vents?
Up until Victoria had her tonsils out in August of 2005, we were regulars in the Motrin aisle. . .she literally drank gallons of the stuff–a high propensity towards strep. Since the tonsils have been gone, she’s not even sniffed once. And that is great–in fact, NONE of us have been sick enough to miss school this year until today. The boy is sick and was home today. I am sick and will be home with the sick boy tomorrow. I am hoping this is just the common cold–highly likely with the symptoms–but we are both running some fever too.
I’m sick. Bleh. Off to bed with a glass of water and my Kleenex with lotion.
Tony and I both got Blockbuster gift cards from our students for Christmas. Last night we polished them off by renting “The Illusionist.” I don’t recall having seen it advertised–but we don’t go to many movies. Anyway–it’s definitely worth the time to watch it. Tony and I both enjoyed it. It’s not at all what I thought it would be–and it’s very clean by today’s standards–so if you’re looking for a good rental, I recommend it.
Well, I am trying to lose weight–seriously trying. I have (seriously) lost and regained substantial amounts of weight 2 times in my life–60+ pounds being what I consider substantial. The LAST time was 11 years ago, and I managed to get it back off after the first baby but not the second. After him it hung around. My running joke is that the statute of limitations for blaming it on the baby is 1 year. After that it’s ya own fault.
So not only did that hang around, but I have gained THIRTY pounds since I went back to work. . .that’s right. . .THIRTY pounds in 2 1/2 years. I am not one who “just can’t eat” when I’m stressed. And seeing as how I have now found out the exact number of calories it takes to maintain a woman of my stature much less GAIN that much weight. . .that is even MORE astounding.
I have lost varying smaller amounts off and on as well, and all the other times I lost weight, low carb worked wonders for me. But my body just can’t hack it any more–at least not as low as I used to go with the carbs. I do NOT feel well when I try to do that, so I am now concentrating on keeping my carbs down, but trying to just watch what I eat in an effort to make a permanent life change. (I’ll keep you posted on that one. . .)
In that attempt, one must still consume food, and as a carbaholic, I cannot dance in the bread aisle too much or I just slide down the slope and am eating an entire package of pecan twirls on the way home from the grocery store. Not. Even. Kidding. And that is MILD comparatively.
Weight loss is not just a “my clothes are too tight/my back fat is obnoxious/ I can no longer comfortably sit in a student’s desk OR cross my legs” issue. It is a Type 2 diabetes/Heart disease runs in my family issue. My future is laid before me laced with insulin shots and visions of poor circulation.
So–here are my wonderful tricks and new discoveries to aid in my attempt.
Sugar free koolaid
This is a seriously good beverage–I prefer Tropical Punch. I am not much of a Kool-aid person, but I have been drinking this off and on for several years–it’s just a spin on other beverages PLUS if you have a snowcone machine or ice shaver, freeze some of it into cubes– then make yourself a sugar free snow cone. Very good. 0 calories, 0 carbs, 0 sugar
Nature’s Own Double Fiber Wheat Bread
‘Tis a new discovery. In my attempt to up my carb intake while trying to keep away from carbs that negatively impact my blood sugar and send me into a carb tail spin, I went in search of the highest possible fiber with a palatable taste. I have found a winner. This bread is a regular sized slice, costs less than $3 per loaf, has 40 calories per slice, 5 grams of fiber PER SLICE, and only 10 carbs per slice–once you subtract the fiber (since it doesn’t impact blood sugar levels) that’s only 5 NET carbs per slice. It sounds like it would taste like tree bark–but it tastes like whole wheat bread–yummy.
Dibs Bite Sized Icecream Snacks (Chocolate)
Now this is REAL icecream–and normally I would not tempt myself thusly, but this is also tiny nuggets of icecream enrobed in chocolate, and it’s also very rich and flavorful and creamy. I had actually bought it for the kids, but dove in one day while I was looking for something to eat. On the box, the serving size is 26 pieces coming in at a whopping 400+ calories, but if you limit yourself to 6 or 8 after dinner, well, that’s a nice little treat, and since I allow myself to have a small amount–well I don’t feel guilty and I don’t overindulge thinking I won’t be able to have any tomorrow. . .’cause I have about 6 or 8 little pieces a day.
http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/Home.asp
I got this website from a commentor on Sarah’s blog–it is a WONDERFUL *FREE* tool to track what you eat, nutrition, etc. The only problem I have found is that the calories burned for walking doesn’t seem accurate, but other than that it’s a dream. It comes with all sorts of foods already available to list, or you can enter new custom foods (like my double fiber bread and Dibbs). Love it–Love it–Love it. It keeps me accountable and there are all sorts of charts and graphs and other techy things that are fun to read. There is also a journal option AND it saves all your information for you, so you can track your weight loss, nutrition, what you eat, etc.
100% Whole Grain Wheat Thins
I like crackers–ask Sarah–and I like Wheat Thins and Triscuits and all that jazz too. The 100% Whole Grain Wheat Thins ARE NOT regular Wheat Thins–but they have that lovely fiber to help with my blood sugar, so I count out my 16 to have with my daily lowfat ham sandwich on double fiber bread.
Iceburg Lettuce Shreds
I prefer green leaf lettuce for salads–more nutrients–more fiber. But for sandwiches, I like shredded lettuce, and having it pre-shredded in a bag is a very nice way to dress up lunch. I have kept my bread, mustard, mayo (real), dill pickle slices, a bag of shredded lettuce, and low fat ham in the fridge at school to make sandwiches this week. I NEVER get around to making them at home. I cannot tell you how many people have commented on the appearance/freshness/”That looks so good” of my sandwich this week –INCLUDING my husband who saw it today at lunch. It’s all in the accessories–and my lacy lettuce is the key. It’s basically glorified water–but I can pile it on and enjoy the fact that I’m having a healthy lunch.
So there ya go–like much of the free world I am on a diet–but it’s not a crash diet or a desperation diet. It is an “I need to permanently change my eating habits or I am going to die” diet. So far I’m doin’ fine. I have set a goal of one year to lose the 60-70 pounds I feel is necessary for me to be healthy, and if I lose 1.3 pounds per week then I will reach my goal by this time next year. My goal weight is on the very high side of normal for a woman my height and age, but (you can also ask Sarah this) I am one of the fortunate few who can TRULY claim “big bones” as a large part of my weight. I am built like a lumber jack. I’m just going to take it slow and easy and enjoy the ride. AND when I get where I want to be–even though most women would goggle at the amount–I will smile and no longer wish that I was thinner or flatter stomached or smaller boned as I did all the other times. I will be glad that I am healthy. Wish me luck.
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My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Countess-Palatine Roxanne the Calm of Leighton in the Bucket Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
(Okay. . .speaking of self doubt, I’ve named this post THREE times. . .but none of ‘em stuck, so make up your own title and feel free to leave it in the comments if you care to.)
I had a wonderful conversation with a dear friend tonight. I called because I hadn’t gotten an e-mail that was sent and had missed out on some big doin’s. It wasn’t a happy e-mail–rather one that needed a “friendly pat on the shoulder of life.” After the conversation this is some of what I replied in an e-mail even though we had discussed the issue at hand while on the phone.
“Obviously I completely understand how [this situation] caused you to sail headfirst into the chasm of self doubt that is so adequately littered with all of the jagged shards of failures and shattered attempts and discarded ideas that haunt you.”
And which one of us DOESN’T have a yawning chasm of such things with which to pummel ourselves as well fall headlong to the bottom clutching a bag of M&Ms and a diet Coke for comfort. Mine is more like The Grand Canyon of Self Doubt at times.
Anyway, it reminded me that we all need to be a little nicer to our inner children. Now that term, “inner child” has gotten a negative connotation as a way to excuse bad behavior or slough off responsibility for one’s actions. But I’m not talking about that one. I’m talking about how we treat ourselves. There might be a list a mile long of things people love about us, or admire, or find entertaining or amazing or amusing–but we know the truth.
We are frauds.
We have these horrible gaping, oozing inadequacies that we try to cover up each day before we face the world, but when we are alone with our inadequacies or we fear they are being glimpsed by anyone, we go into self abuse mode. We rant and rave inside our heads over what we should have done and all the time we’ve wasted and how we should have dealt with this long ago. We bash and beat on the poor little person in there that hides in the shadows trying to keep her at bay so the world doesn’t see who she really is.
Well, I had quite a bit of that going on yesterday myself. I’ve wrestled with the same problem for years upon years and I’ve not moved what seems like one step forward. Except maybe I have. I know myself better. I know when I just need to go to bed. I know when to NOT order the large diet Coke because the caffeine rush will just make me grumpier. I know that I will probably procrastinate getting the Brownie craft pillows cut out until the night before I need them, so I had better at least buy the supplies two months in advance. . .ouch. . .that one still smarts.
So–we’ve all seen this (below) before probably, but it never hurts to be reminded that we need to take a lighter hand when dealing with life in general, and most definitely with our Inner Child. She is very shy, you see. She might need some extra attention, and she’s very loving and devoted when she feels safe. Enjoy the words of someone who had time to think about that. . .and knew exactly how much time she had.
By the way, Stephanie sent this to me this week (thank you Stephanie) . She is in good company because the FIRST wonderful friend who brought this to my attention was Maxine Riley, Sarah’s grandmother.
If I had my life to live over
by Erma Bombeck
I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television – and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”
There would have been more “I love yous”.. more “I’m sorrys”… but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it… live it…and never give it back.
Be kind to yourself today.
As many of you know, I was raised in a very conservative family. Growing up, Momma made sure that we all knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that December 25 was not, in fact, biblically listed as the day of Jesus’ actual birth. I, myself, lean more toward a spring date seeing as how shepherds and even a mean old guy like Herod Ceasar are not likely to subject either sheep or large numbers of people to winter time grazing and/or census travel. Plus just plain old history tells us church leaders established it to wean people away from the pagan festivals held that same time of year.
My parents are perfectly thrilled about the birth of Christ (as you can imagine) and love songs about his birth just as much as the next person. But the focus on a day was their issue. As you can imagine, in our house there was not a nativity scene EVER. Aside from the fact that December 25th is not actually biblically listed as Jesus actual day of birth, there’s the whole 3 wisemen thing–and it never says three wisemen–it says three gifts. And then there is the whole ARRIVAL of the wisemen thing–where it appears that they did not, indeed, find Jesus in the manger as did the shepherds, but found a “young child in a house” probably several months, if not a year later. And let’s not even get started on the NAMES of the wisemen since those aren’t listed there either. Yes, go and check your Bibles. And if that’s not enough for you, there is also a section on it at Snopes.com. . .go figure.
Anyway–my children are given a healthy dose of biblical accuracy as well, along with the admonition that even though it’s not Jesus’ birthday as far as we know, we are all really happy that people are thinking about Jesus and talking about Jesus and doing nice things because of Jesus, and it really doesn’t matter when he was born as long as we thank God that he was, indeed, born, etc. We are up with Jesus every day.
I still don’t have a nativity set. I had a very nice pewter one, but gave it to a dear friend who admired it. I missed out on the Little People Nativity set when it came out and am SOOOOO wishing I had one (the star lights up when you set the angel atop it–and Thad would point out RIGHT NOW that ALL of the angels in the Bible are BOYS–much to his sister’s chagrine). . .but will probably just work on getting the Willow Tree one at some point. The wisemen can be on another piece of furniture “afar off” beginning their journey to follow the star.
I say all of that to say, that for EVERY Nativity set that I have seen, and for all of the lovely and ornate crosses I’ve seen, I’ve never–not ever–no, not ever, ever, ever, seen a resurrection set. So imagine my surprise when I came across this while procrastinating relaxing and looking through a mail order catalogue tonight.
Aside from the unlikely coloring of clothing and the sunflowers (which I’m not sure grow in the Middle East), well it seems to be dead on accurate. The women even have things to tend to the body of Jesus. I was just amazed because it seemed so unlikely a thing to find. I might have to buy one before I even begin my nativity collection. And once I get both collections, I might leave them out all year long. . .not just Christmas. . .and not just Easter. . .because the wonder of God’s greatest gift is that it means something to us EVERY day.
I just happened across this over at another gal’s blog. . .my husband and I have both exercised our diaphragms while watching it. . .I’m not an “Ellen” watcher, but I’d gladly watch Gladys any day. 
