Walking

When I was in college, in Abilene, newly married, a new mom–up to maybe 4 years ago, I was a walker.  It was my exercise of choice–my go to.  I LOVE yoga, but I find that I REALLY need to be in a yoga class, and those are few and far between in Magnolia.

The past three or four years, I’ve not walked much except at school, in the grocery store–you get it.  Not walking for exercise or walking for fun or walking for contemplation–joyless walking.

That is very sad.

Tonight, about 7:45, I felt a feeling–one I’d not felt in a long while.  It was need.  Like, “I need to get a drink of water,” or, “I need to put on a pair of socks,” or, “I need to scratch my nose.”  It was the need to walk.  It had to be done.

So I announced to my family (except Thad who was buried in his room on his computer), “I am going for a walk.”  Tony who used to take this as second nature said, “Really???”

Yes.

Really.

And so, I did.  I put on my shoes and stretched my calves and walked a mile.

In my own shoes.

Tra-la.

A Pensieve

I need to write more.  I’ve said this more often in the last three or four years than I care to remember.  Writing, for me, is a way to siphon off the excess thoughts and put them in a place where I can keep them.  JK Rowling describes the need for this to perfection in the Harry Potter series.

Dumbledore owns a shallow bowl of sorts called a Pensieve.  This is a clever device that perfectly combines the meanings of the words “pensive-to reflect or think deeply” and “sieve-a device used to separate fine pieces from the whole.”

With a Pensieve (and a wand for Potter purists), excess memories can be removed from one’s mind, deposited in the bowl, and re-entered when needed. A person can take in the entire event again–noticing details not noticed before–and even take other people into the memory with them. For that fact, they can go into the memories of others who have given them thoughts to put into the Pensieve.  It’s hindsight in 4-D with sights, sounds, and smells.  You can stroll around–go back into it as many times as needed–have a seat and stay awhile.  What a marvelous creation!

This blog has been my Pensieve, and I regret my negligence of it the past few years.  As I read back through, I see the many stories I recorded about life–my children especially–or just thoughts that kept running through my brain and needed a place to land.  Writing things down through a journal, or blog, or letters,  has the ability to cement events and clips of memory in a person’s mind. For instance, last night I was going through a notebook that I have.  It has several old lists in it–one for the Mother Daughter Luncheon, a grocery list, etc.  But it also had the following gem from Thad:

“I told Thad to get in the car to go to school, and he said, ‘I LAUGH in the face of getting in the car to go to school. Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…(maniacal laughter.)'”

He was in 4th or 5th grade at the time.  Believe it or not–when I read it, I remembered him saying that.  More than anything, I remember the before school atmosphere of mornings when we were all the in the house and the kids were younger–their sleepy faces–the smell of Eggo waffles in the toaster–the sounds of arguing or laughter or too much silence meaning they’d gone back to sleep coming from their end of the house. Most mornings there was just much plodding along to get through another day.  But more often than not, I heard at least one zinger or two like the one above.  And all of those days strung together got me a few more wrinkles, several additional gray hairs,  college and high school sophomores, and some additional and much needed wisdom.

Over Easter weekend, my mom and I went to see Victoria.  We got to attend her freshman Bible class where her teacher, Dr. Baker, made a point I’ve never thought of before.  He said, “I believe God has planted in us the ability to forget.  It’s a gift.  Think about it, if we weren’t able to forget, we’d have to relive the sad, tragic, or demoralizing moments of our lives over and over in perfect clarity–not just the happy ones.  We can’t move forward or grow if we are constantly bombarded by all the things we’ve ever seen or done or read or heard.  So, God gives us the ability to forget, but He also gives us the ability to remember or to be reminded.”

Anyway.  I’m here again to confess to my four readers and myself that I need to write more.  Like anything that’s good for you, it takes discipline and a commitment to actually do it.  The school year is fast approaching.  Our summer has been not at all what we expected.  Time and events continue to slip away “like pearls from a string.” We are parsing out the minutes of each day to try and salvage as much as we can before Victoria goes back to college. The thoughts of “how in the world are we going to do this” start to creep in.  But as my blog Pensieve shows, we do it.  We make it through days bright and glorious as well as days plain and brown.  And through both kinds of days, we spend a lot of time living and laughing, learning and loving.

I need to remember this.  I need to write.

 

 

Those We Know

My friends’ parents are part of the soundtrack of my childhood.  In junior high and especially high school, I spent many more nights than I can count at the homes of Sarah and Mary Linda.  I lived 25 miles away from where I went to school, so overnight stays after football games or play practice or before big trips were often necessary. Plus there was way more to do in Monroe.

Sarah’s dad passed away last night after a 30+ year battle with cancer in various shapes and forms.  Her parents were and are every inch of what you would call “A Class Act.”    I always think of Mignon as elegant and put together–her Louisiana drawl, her laugh–and Mike, her dad, was the kind of man who remembered your name, used your name, and made you feel like you were JUST the person he was wanting to see at that exact moment, and that your specific presence in his day had made it worth living.  They  just recently celebrated 50 years of marriage.

Now, obviously, being close friends with their daughter gave me the inside scoop on how they and their family functioned.  I learned many lessons from the Rileys, and although they may not seem super important they are part of my life, and it makes me smile to remember them.  Some, but not all, are:

  1. Fresca was a drink that was always cold in their fridge.
  2. The Rileys had a picture collage wall as early as 1983 and LONG before Pinterest.
  3. Music playing in a home is a very good thing.
  4. The toenails of a Shih Tzu on a tile floor is a happy, peppy sound that you do not forget.
  5. You can be A Class Act and still drive a Harley (or ride the back of one if you are Mignon.)
  6. The importance of timing and physics when learning how to spit gum out of the sun roof of a moving car.
  7. Hondas are good vehicles.
  8. You do not call someone’s home after 9:00 pm. (This is a hard-learned lesson to which I still ascribe, and when I have to break it, I apologize profusely.)
  9. The meanings and appropriate usage of the the phrases “Katy, bar the door” and “Hie your skirts about you and run.”
  10. Having one’s blood pressure and voice volume escalate due to bad drivers can be an art form.
  11. Your own voice volume should GREATLY decrease after 10:00 pm (this was a challenge for me) unless you are at the other VERY FAR end of the house in the play room.
  12. Don’t sit OR lean on the footboard of the bed.
  13. If you are the one driving, you have ONE job.  FLY the PLANE!
  14. Someone’s own name is the sweetest sound they can hear.
  15. Your friend’s parents love you.  A lot. Even when you are loud after 10:00 pm and call after 9:00 and drink their last, cold Fresca and lean on the footboard of the bed.

In the fall of 2009, there was a chorus reunion to honor one of the teachers we had in high school.  The morning of the event, I went to the school to help decorate with Sarah and others, then we spent the afternoon together and ended up at her parent’s home to get ready for the evening.  This was the same home in which I had spent so much time as a teenager–same bathroom with two sinks–same tile floor (minus the Shih Tzu)–and as we bustled about and got ready and talked across the hallway and laughed, Mike showed up at the bathroom door (the same one where he had once delivered a stern lecture to us both regarding the fact that Sarah could have driven to Bastrop SEVERAL TIMES to talk to me IN PERSON for the price of the ONE phone bill he had just retrieved from the mail box and was currently holding in his hand and waving for effect) with a huge grin on his face.  “Man, it sure has done my heart good to hear you girls (we were 40  at the time) laughing and talking and getting ready in this house again. I’d forgotten how happy that makes me.”

It made me glad then, and now, I’m the parent who is happy to hear her daughter and her daughter’s friends back in my own home on their breaks from college.  And it made me understand that I was just as much a part of Mike Riley’s life as he was of mine.  He is home now–no longer sick–singing at the top of his lungs and greeting all of those who have gone before like they are JUST the person he was wanting to see on his first day in Heaven.

 

 

 

Friends

I am incredibly blessed to have many, many friends.  I have been granted these gifts by God, and I got to see one of them back in the fall AND again a few weeks ago.

Before Tony and I built our new home, we were attending church in Houston.  A couple of years after we arrived, they hired a children’s minister named Jennifer.  I had been helping out with VBS for a couple of years before Jennifer’s arrival, and I had kids who were still under the children’s ministry umbrella, so Jennifer and I became fast friends.

I can’t even remember how or why. . .we just did.  Really–I know how or why–it was God.  It’s ALWAYS God.

Eventually, we built our home and moved to a new town and a new church home, but Jennifer and I remained friends.  She STILL has “World’s Best Babysitter” status with my kiddos–the only one that comes close is their Aunt Christy–and she’s family.

The long story short is that through several of us walking through doors that God help open, I was able to introduce Jennifer to her husband.  They dated (mainly through text message) and were married a mere 9 months later.  During this time, Jennifer and I helped each other through many, MANY difficult life issues.  Tony and the kids were in Magnolia that year for school, but I was still in our old district.  It was a weight to bear to be away from my family, and it wore on me that year especially. I cannot count the number of Frito Pie burritos and large Sonic Diet Cokes she brought to me at school during my lunch time.  She seemed to have a 6th sense for when I needed her to show up. She was my personal grocery shopper on more than one occasion–just MADE me give her my list and went and bought them all, then brought them to me at the end of the school day.

She spent nights in our guest room when she and Greg finally started dating in earnest.  I’d keep a ready supply of bean salad, Tostitos, Oreos and peanut butter for her. We would talk on my way in to work or on my way home,  and I was with her on her wedding day–going to get her hair done, getting an emergency Diet Coke from Sonic, and being a general runner and taking pictures here and there.

Greg and Jennifer 082 cropped landscape sharp

One of the engagement photos I took of them at our house.

March of this year will make 7 years this sweet couple have been married.  In that 7 years, they have produced FOUR precious babies. . .sweet Jack, and triplets Lillian, Harvey, and Matilda.  I have not gotten to spend much time with her or her babies as they moved to Dallas shortly after they married, then recently moved to Georgia.  What with 6 babies between the two of us–and Jennifer with four ages 5 and under, we don’t get a lot of time to chat–or text–or even send telepathic messages.  But that has not lessened our bonds of friendship.

In September, Jennifer’s brother-in-law (who is our youth minister) was getting married in Dallas.  She had texted me the day before to see if I could help her corral the triplets during the wedding.  I was thrilled to do so and came armed with stickers. That was the first time we had been in touch in about a year.  No matter. . .friendship knows no expiration date.  Which was proven when we were 45 minutes away from arriving in Dallas.  I received a text.

“Are you close enough that you can stop by a Walmart and get some socks for the kids?”  Now–it may sound odd–but that text made my heart happy, happy, happy!  Seriously.  The time and the distance meant nothing at all, because who can you ask to get socks for your kids if you can’t ask your friend?

I had not seen Jennifer in probably three years at this point, but when we arrived at the church, I walked through the door, hugged her husband and the one triplet who was nearby, handed her the socks with no fanfare and said, “I’ll be back in 45 minutes to help with the kids.”

We DID get to talk a very, very little bit at the reception–but it was all okay–we had seen each other.

In late January, Greg’s grandmother passed away.  They all headed to our little town for the memorial service, and I was on hand to keep the kiddos in the nursery!  So fun!!!  On my way to the building, I texted Jennifer, “On my way. What Sonic drink would you like for me to smuggle into the nursery for you?”  Her reply, “Large Coke Zero.  You are my hero.”

In all of our bounty of time together over a few months, we had neglected to get a photograph of the two of us together.  In fact, this one below (from her wedding shower in February of 2010) was the most recent one I had of us.

Jen and Greg's Shower 106_025

My very good friend, Jennifer. She’s ten kinds of awesome.

So that Sunday morning after the memorial service but before church started (and I got to be in the nursery with the four kiddos again–such sweet, sweet babies–and they LOVE their Rice Chex and Cashews) I made a mad dash into the auditorium so that we could take this picture together.

Jennifer and Me.jpg

The lighting isn’t great. . .the weird ceiling we have in our church auditorium is on display. . .there are a few more wrinkles on both of our faces, and we still don’t get much time to talk, but oh how I treasure this friend of mine.  She is a blessing and a treasure and a gift–and I can’t thank God enough for her!

Ummm. . .

There are many reasons for why I’ve been absent from this blog for over a year.  Many of them have to do with having a Senior in high school, now Freshman in college–changes to my job and getting myself established in a new class with creating curriculum and managing over 400 students per year for the past two school years–and creating four year high school plans for them all–plus the 100 that can’t fit into the class.

More than anything, I’ve been tired.  Just flat out exhausted mentally.  I come home after my day of wrangling 30-36 kids per class, cook dinner, and collapse.  Things are beginning to settle in a bit–and I need to write.  I need it for my brain and to remember things–times, events, emotions.  I need it.

Instagram gets most of my thoughts and traffic these days, but that is not REALLY writing.   It’s like fast food when what you REALLY want and/or need is some good, home cooking.  And writing is a good thing.  At least for me.

Last year my word was “perspective.”  This year my word is “this.”  It was inspired by the picture below.  A gal I follow on Instagram saw it outside of a dance studio.  It seems  like nothing. . .it’s not really a big word, but it can mean so much.this

When Victoria was about 3 1/2, we got a box of hand me downs from my friend, Carolyn.  I opened the box and began taking the clothes out as Victoria and I discussed what she wanted to be for Halloween.  All of a sudden, she spotted something in the box, reached in (almost fell in–it was a big box), grabbed a shimmery, shiny, slippery, satiny pink and silver spangled item of clothing and said, “I want to be THIS!”  She didn’t even know what it was–but whatever it was she was going to be it.

So–to me, “This” means whatever is in front of you–whatever you set your mind to do–whatever is your focus needs to be it.  No multi-tasking or running off and doing something else that crosses your mind.  THIS–this moment, this conversation, this nap, this meal, this time with my child or my husband or my friend–THIS is where my focus should be.

2016: Perspective

IMG_7373I am sitting at the breakfast table across from my son.  He is 14 1/2, and has a set of glowing blue headphones on his ears.  We both have laptops in front of us.  He asked what I was looking at.  I told him my blog, then said, “I haven’t written anything in 7 months.”  At which point he applauded.  I asked why he was applauding that, and he said, “Well, at least you aren’t blogging every day like you used to.  You used to spend HOURS on the computer.”

Ah. . .how things have changed.  Now HE spends hours on the computer, and I was just pondering trying to write a post each day to get back into the swing of things.  I am not even really reading blogs anymore, but I need to.  It offers a different perspective on life–what people ponder and reveal and think.

So, on this first day of 2016, I will say that writing is a priority this year.  So is drinking plenty of water, getting good rest, continuing to take care of my body and spirit as well as the bodies and spirits of my little family.

This year is a biggie–Victoria will graduate in June and be off to college in August.  That is not a change I look forward to for me, but it is an adventure I look forward to for her. Thad begins high school in August–without his sister here to guide him and encourage him and make him laugh when we can’t.

Last school year, our principal (young guy) chose one word for 2015.  His word was “finish.” He was working on his doctorate, in the middle of his first year of being a principal, etc.  So, FINISH.  That was a good word.

I have thought about one word for 2016.  There were a couple in the running:  Endure, Faithfulness. . but sitting here just now with me bemoaning my lack of writing and Thad applauding it, I think I have chosen my One Word for 2016.  Perspective.  Much like a just right Christmas gift, or a new pair of shoes, I knew it when I saw it. It fit. It was right.

Perspective.  Perspective on the past and on the future.  Perspective on how my children, my husband and I all view a situation, an event, a memory.  Perspective on them growing up and us growing older.  Perspective on where I live and what I do and how I do it.  Perspective on the students I teach and how we interpret the same information differently.  Perspective on how long it’s taken me to develop or break habits. Perspective on events and choices and decisions.

There is a song by Garth Brooks that most people don’t know.  It was from his ill-fated, short-lived adventure as Chris Gaines.  The song is “That’s the Way I Remember It.”  It’s a song about perspective.

It’s only natural with time
Details can somehow slip your mind
Something so sweet, though incomplete
You fill the spaces in between

It never will be that way again
Maybe it wasn’t, way back when
To my heart and soul
This is the way the story has to be told

That’s the way, I remember it, I remember it that way
From the day, I was living it, I remember it that way

Some of our stories fade as we grow older
Some get sweeter every time they’re told
That’s the way, I’ll remember it that way.

2016:  Perspective

 

 

They Grow

November, Thanksgiving, 2009 344 crpThis is not a news flash.  It is well known throughout the generations.  When one has an infant, they spend many hours worrying about the infant’s health–if they are thriving–growing–getting enough nutrition.  They soon brag about the percentile and what size clothing the baby wears.  Next comes the new and interesting things that the baby, then toddler can do.  Then there is reading and losing teeth, and before you know, both of your infants are taller than you.

November, Thanksgiving, 2009 247 ps crpSuch is the case at my house.  I am trying to get all of my digital photos onto USBs so that I don’t have a catastrophic event and lose them all.  Alas, I am also trying to sort through them to delete the ones that aren’t good and to adjust the ones that need some TLC to remove red eyes or lighten a dark shot.

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Renfest, 2009 Blog_019 crpThis is dangerous business at the end of the school year.  This Momma is worn slap out and is already thinking about what photos to send for Victoria’s “Senior Sunday” slideshow next May.  The time.  It goes.  The kids.  They grow–and grow–and grow–and then they go too.

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November, Thanksgiving, 2009 280 ps2 crpAnd that is as it should be.  If they get stuck, or don’t thrive–if they aren’t successful, then other sadnesses arise.  This sadness is a good one.  My children are thriving, growing, learning, and they are just such GOOD kids.  But, oh, the the sighings of the heart–the tightening of the throat–the loosing of the tears over the discomfort of stretching, stretching apron strings.

November, Thanksgiving, 2009 299 ps crp