So the other day I am running errands. It’s about 2:00 and I’ve not yet had lunch. I run into the Subway down the street (that I haven’t been to in years) and order my regular sandwich–6″ turkey on white with cheese, a little mayo, lettuce, bell pepper, onion, pickles, salt and pepper. I slide my card to pay and she says, “There is a dollar charge for debit cards.” To which I reply, “It’s credit–not debit.” To which SHE replies, “We don’t take credit cards–debit or cash only.” So I say “Thanks anyway.” And leave the gals at Subway to eat my sandwich or take it home for later.
I don’t really want fast food, but I run to Wendys, ’cause their new chicken salad Frescata is REALLY good. (No tomato on mine please.) I decide to get the meal so I can have a diet Coke, but I don’t want fries. If I’m going to have a lot of fat and calories, I’d much rather have it in the shape of a small Frosty.
So I say,
“Chicken Frescata, no tomato, diet Coke, and small frosty rather than the fries.”
“We can’t substitute a Frosty for fries?”
“How much is the Frosty?”
How much are the fries?”
“So the problem would be. . .?”
“A Frosty is a drink ma’am.”
Now would be the time for me to say that I KNOW that when they hand you your Frosty, they always hand you a straw AND a spoon. I find the straw rather laughable, because unless you get a melty Frosty OR unless you ALLOW your Frosty to melt on purpose OR unless you enjoy using a straw as a spoon OR unless you have the lung capacity and suction strength of a Hoover, well, the contents of your Frosty are NOT making it through that straw into your mouth.
And I say,
“Well, it seems to me that ninety-nine cents is ninety-nine cents. If I’m paying $5.85 for the combo and asking you to substitute same price items, it shouldn’t be an issue.”
So I pull up to the window and get a song and dance, at which point I say, “Okay. Just give me the sandwich.” And she says, “We’ve already scanned your card.” And I say, “I just want the sandwich.” And she sighs a deep, retail food worker sigh and says, “Well, I’ll do it this ONE time, but it WON’T happen again.”
I just smiled and said thank you as she rolled her eyes at me. Then I parked the car to eat my lunch. I started at first to feel angry that I’d had such a hard time getting sustanance that wasn’t deep fried in grease. . .then I started to feel badly for being such a pain. . .then I settled on just feeling happy ’cause I got my Frosty AND my yummy sandwich AND a diet Coke AND I got to sit in silence to eat it.
No big mystery there.