An Open Letter to the Lotion/Shampoo/Soap Manufacturers of America. You know who you are.

Dear Lotion/Shampoo/Soap Manufacturers of America:

STOP IT.

Stop it NOW.

Stop changing the color/formula/appearance of your products.

Step AWAY from the Laboratory of Insanity.

I had JUST grown accustomed to my shampoo that USED to smell like a lovely clean floral scent of unidentifiable origins smelling like cucumber melon.

THAT change occured in June of 2007. I even got wild and bought the soap to match. But tonight, TONIGHT when I took myself to Wal-Mart before the thunderstorms of Hades descend upon my portion of the Texas Gulf Coast, I find that CUCUMBER MELON is no longer good enough. NOOOOOOOOOOOO. . .now it’s Cucumber and GREEN TEA. Which smells REVOLTING. I could get that OR Rejuvinating Grapefruit Lemongrass scent to invigorate me RIGHT BEFORE I GO TO BED WHICH IS WHEN I WASH MY HAIR.

The same shenanigans have been pulled with my soap, my children’s soap, my children’s shampoo, my clothes detergent, my WONDERFUL apple Lysol, the list goes on and on and on.

I have to make about 1.4 million decisions in a day. When I get to Wal-Mart at 9:00 p.m. with an ankle swelling like an over-ripe melon for NO particular reason, I do not want to have to NEGOTIATE the shampoo aisle. I want to find my (now newly familiar) white bottle with green writing and be done.

DONE.

It’s only been around for 10 months, yet you feel the need to change it ALREADY??????

Alas, I had to sniff and smell and inhale several different things until, in desperation, I looked up and down the aisle for ONE–just ONE recognizable shampoo.

And I found it.

I found some FINESSE. The blue bottle now has a pink daisy on it–but it is still the same Finesse blue it’s been for the past 25 years, and it still SMELLED the same way it has for the past 25 years, and I have not used Finesse in about 10 years, but tonight it was the ONLY recognizable product on the shampoo aisle. I didn’t even WANT Finesse, but by-golly I bought it. I will wash my hair with a recognizable scent wafting on the steam from my shower and know that all is right with the world.

There are several parts of me and mine that need to be lotioned, deoderized, washed, conditioned, and generally maintained by products that YOU–the producers produce. I get it. Really I do. I also understand that it’s a green tea, cucumber, lemon grass jungle out there what with all the OTHER companies that have their very OWN Laboratories of Insanity. I also know that you are aiming for a “target audience,” but allow me to state this loud and clear.

I should be your target audience.

I. Me. Moi. Mrs. Middle America. I am the ringer of your bell, the maker of your bacon, the turner of your world, the consumer of your product. Me. And I am a tired, tired woman. I understand the need for “new and improved” I suppose–but some of what you make, I really, really like–just the way it is/was. Which is why I have bought it all these years–over and over and over.

So I beg you, on behalf of Wal-Mart/Target shoppers everywhere, please, please, for the love of all that is washed and slathered with scented products on a daily basis, STOP THE INSANITY. Give us a break. I and the ethnic couple on the canned foods aisle that heard part of my rant on the phone to a friend (and gave me an “AMEN, SISTUH”–not even kidding) ask you to stop changing the way is smells/works/tastes/looks/and COSTS, and leave it BE. For just a little while.

Please.

Pretty please.

With Cucumber Melon Lemon Grass Green Tea on top.

That is all.

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16 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Lotion/Shampoo/Soap Manufacturers of America. You know who you are.

  1. Oh, I do appreciate your passion! And I get it, I really do.

    I also appreciate how you are a strong and steadfast woman, who can handle many of life’s ups and downs, but dadgummit, when it comes to the shampoo aisle at Wal-Mart, you are not going to stand for the green tea that smells revolting in your nostrils!

    I must be the only one (of your readers so far) who actually likes to try new a new shampoo every time I need to buy new more shampoo. Especially if the new scent is green tea, or patchouli, or lemongrass, or some other groovy natural scent! Maybe I am the lone one they are marketing to?! 😉

  2. I feel compelled to add, though I am prepared to duck quickly, that I know for a 100% fact (I’ve got my inside sources!) that scents do not always change – but the NAMES of the scents do. Weird, huh?!

  3. The scent actually DID change as the new color of the bottle did not throw me. . .nor did the Cucumber Green Tea title. . .I opened both the shampoo AND the conditioner to sniff, and it was definitely heavy on the tea.

    And I used to love to change hair care products until I found JUST the right one. In high school I used Style–then they quit making it. So I used Swiss Formula Jojoba–then they quit making it.

    You see a theme here?

    *Sigh*

  4. You know, you should write the manufacturer, or call the 800-number on the back of the bottle. The manufacturers will definitely take note of your remarks (they are extremely serious about collecting this type of information, and your rant would not be taken lightly) and besides, they will probably send you a package of samples and free product to boot!

    Jessica – green tea extract is another one of those natural (made by God) ingredients that, among other benfits, has lots of benefits for the scalp and hair. And while not every one agrees, many people find the scent refreshing and wonderful 🙂

  5. I know you are full-up-busy with the house and all, but I’m here to say I miss your postings 🙂 Come back soon.

  6. Hi Roxanne!

    That is interesting that we wrote such similar posts at the same time! And even with the good-old Finesse! Funny!

    I have been harping on this same thing recently—the way products change. It’s not just shampoos and lotions, either. Stupid cosmetic companies—just when you find THE WORLD’S BEST LIPSTICK, you run out and have to buy more. Only, they don’t make it anymore! Not that color—sorry! Or like I found this awesome face cream that completely obliterated all the oil on my (very greasy) face. Loved it, loved it. And of course they stopped making that, too. Or my favorite cleanser and astringent, which were in the stores with the words “NEW!” on the containers. Now, they are not only not “new,” they are discontinued items at just about every store. You know your favorite product is in trouble when you start finding it at the dollar store—that’s the kiss of death.

    Anyway, sorry for your miserable cucumber and green tea experience. That is a bummer.

    Thanks for visiting my blog. I plan to check out more of yours—you’ve got that L.M. Montgomery quote at the top, and she’s my favorite! We must be kindred spirits! 🙂

  7. Pingback: Please remind me that: « It be’s that way sometimes.

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