I woke up at 4:00-ish–couldn’t go back to sleep–some mild heart-burn from some yummy salsa, and too much on my mind. I needed to get some audio tapes for something at school, so I finally got up, put my clothes on, and ran to Wal-Mart.

BUT FIRST, I stopped and got a diet Coke. I’m trying to avoid it these days just in an effort to “cleanse” my body, but one was called for this a.m. While at Wal-Mart, I treated myself to a new batch of hair removal cream for my upper lip, as well as some Frizz-Ease serum for my head–always wanted to try it. As I left, there was a group of overnight employees sitting in front of the store on break or waiting for rides. I had JUST stepped out of the door where someone told me to “Have a good night.” because they had lost ALL track of time, when one of the Parking Lot Personnel said, “And then I heard, ‘Clean up on aisle four,'” and all of his Parking Lot Personnel Buddies BURST into hee-hawing laughter. I’m glad they find that funny too. Of course, it’s even funnier to them ’cause they live it.

On the way home I heard Dr. James Dobson interviewing a medical doctor who treats stroke patients. I wish I had a recorder to keep all of his words forever, because what he had to say was what a lot of us need to hear. . .or at least be reminded of. “As Christians, we want to tie a bow around everything and say God will make it all okay. The truth is, He will, but maybe not on this side of heaven. The truth is, that the cross shows us how something bad on this earth can happen–and still be bad–but God uses it to influence eternity.” He also talked about how stroke patients are (obviously) more prone to depression and that his practice has a very low threshold for treating depression in stroke patients. How I wish he had been around when my grandmothers experienced that. He talked about how your brain cells actually set you up for depression after a stroke, because the body MUST slow down to recuperate.

I’ve not had a stroke–but I’ve had enough stressors over the past few months to have attacked my brain cells with way too much adrenelin/stimulus/etc. So, I am looking for ways to be kind to myself. . .for ways to just Be.

This morning it was a diet coke, and now I’m off to enjoy a shower before work. Today, I will be gentle with myself and everyone around me. . .even the ditzoid kids in my 6th period class. I will smile at my comrades at school knowing that we all fight a hard battle each day. I hope you have a comrade with whom you can share a laugh today.

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8 thoughts on “Comraderie

  1. Been thinking about you.

    Keep treating yourself in small ways. Hang in there. Keep writing. That’s the best therapy for me. And chocolate. Chocolate is good…

  2. Roxanne,
    Sarah found me on facebook the other day and that’s how I found this blog. I lost my Dad February 27, 2007 from an accident on his backhoe. I have read your blogs since your Dad passed away and it is like reading my experience a year ago. I am so sorry for your and your family’s loss. Although I have lost family before (my mom, my brother, my stepson), nothing, nothing prepared us for the hole left after Dad’s death. I think the difference in the deaths that we had lived through before is that we HAD Dad to help us through. All I can say is that it does get better. If you are like me, you will get tired of that statement soon, if not already. I kept saying to myself, no it won’t get better, it will always hurt this much, you don’t know what it is like. I have just recently turned a corner and have started looking forward instead of looking back. I kept thinking back at all the memories of Dad like I was watching reruns in my head, then one day I woke up and thought, Dad wouldn’t want me to “sit” in front of the tv all day and watch reruns. He would want me to get out and get fresh air and make new memories with my family. I don’t know if any of this will help but I wanted you to know that you can email me about any of your feelings and I will understand. Also, on a side note, about your medical symptoms…I am always amazed at how little doctors, nurses, etc. actually tell patients about there condition and/or medicines. As a pharmacist, I can try and answer any questions you have about the stuff they throw at you. Just email me.
    On a happy note, it is very refreshing to read Sarah’s and your blogs…especially since ya are from the same background as me. I live in Northwest Arkansas and even though it is techically in Arkansas (which is backwoods country as you get), it is a world apart in culture. Reading your blog on the Jim Stevens song about the squirrel, for example…I not sure most of these people have even heard of him except they might realize that he has a show in Branson…but wouldn’t be found dead at the show. They are not quite yankees, but not really southerners either. They don’t even eat purple hull peas!, or crawfish!. Anyway, it is nice to hear from ya and I hope you don’t mind me reading your blogs or commenting some…just don’t take off for my grammar. You two being teachers is a little intimidating. My husband is a math teacher so I can’t make any mathematical errors…ha,ha. Sorry this is so long.
    Love ya, Deidre:)

  3. Hi, friend. How are you feeling? You are in my prayers. A Diet Coke (especially a Sonic Diet Coke) is always a good comfort.

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