I had two interviews in Magnolia this summer. One was the day after school was out in Cy-Fair. One was yesterday.
I didn’t get either job.
As you can imagine, that was and is quite a blow. I am totally convinced of the fact that I NEED to be in the same district with the rest of my family. I am STILL convinced of that.
The first interview was for a 2nd grade position at THAD’S SCHOOL. I have NO second grade experience. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I CAN teach 2nd grade. . .I CAN teach ANY grade. But it’s not my forte–nor is it where I have the most experience. I was, of course, willing to go in and teach second grade. . .I’d work hard, stay late, blah, blah, blah.
The one yesterday was for a fourth grade position–PERFECT. I had no qualms about walking into a fourth-grade classroom whatsoever. It was in a school where I already know two of the teachers. One I worked with for three years in Cy-Fair. She teaches 3rd, so I would have a lot of the kids she taught last year. The other teaches 4th grade (even sat in on the interview) and was the teacher Thad had for one week last year. She had to change campuses because of numbers. Thad is sad to this day about her having to leave.
Both interviews were great. I felt especially confident about the one yesterday–it couldn’t have gone any better. Seriously.
In the end, though the principal thought my personality, experience, and philosophy were perfect for the job and the team, she chose someone else due to changes that might come about next year. This 4th grade position will likely have to shift down to Kindergarten or 1st grade. I certainly see her logic, understand her choice, and appreciate her foresight.
That being said, after I choked back the inevitable tears and frustration, my first thought was, “I wish I’d not even KNOWN there was a position. . .that I hadn’t even INTERVIEWED for another job.” Part of that is the disappointment. Part of it is anger and frustration. Part of it is because after I got over the disappointment of not even getting called for an interview back in the spring, I really, truly came to grips with going back to my other school. I embraced the fact that I would be there–and that it would be okay. I’d be in the same room for a second year, teaching the same THING for a second year, and THAT hasn’t happened since I went back to work in 2004.
Then, two days before school was out, I got a call to go in for the interview at Thad’s school. And I was THRILLED. Surely this was “it.” How could it not be? But it wasn’t. I did my “what is wrong with me that they won’t hire me–oh maybe it’s because I have not second grade experience” thing. . .whatever, then lifted my head and my arms and RE-embraced my old position. Made a list of all of the “positives” in my mind. Relished my summer. . .rolled around in it. . .soaked it up. . .covered myself in summer. . .got a tan. . .ate icecream. . .went on road trips. . .got chiggers at camp.
And while I was minding my own business and getting ready for Victoria’s birthday party last Friday morning, this other school called and asked me to come in. After the other disappointments, even opening myself up to the possibility of this job was HUGE. It literally came out of nowhere. It was nothing I went in search of. It fell into my lap because of the wonderful reputation my husband already has in a district in which he’s worked for just one year. AND it was a grade I had actually TAUGHT and would be happy to teach again–andtherewasalistamilelongofreasonsformetogethejob!!!!!!!! Boo-yah!!!
*sound of balloon popping here*
A Christian artist named Brandon Heath has a song called, “Wait and See.” I love it for several reasons. I got to see him in concert last October, and he confirmed that it is an autobiographical song. So, while I didn’t struggle with the same things he mentions (though I WAS born “late July”–ACTUALLY early August–in humidity AND I talked too much in school), I love that he is open with the struggles he had–especially for kids who DO struggle with such. More than anything, I love the chorus and the bridge. No matter what the age, the struggles, the victories, the disappointments, God is up to SOMETHING for sure.
“There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won’t forget,
All the plans He’s made for me
I have to wait and see,
He’s not finished with me yet,
He’s not finished with me yet
Still wonderin’ why I’m here.
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh… He’s up to somethin’,
And the farther out I go,
I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m not here for nothin’…
He’s up to somethin’.”
What is God “up to?” I have absolutely NO idea. But I know it’s somethin’. And I know it’s for my good. I know that, because He has told me over and over and over and over that He loves me and wants the best for me, and He has shown me over and over in the 41 years I’ve been on the planet that He will take care of me. In all situations. All the time. Every day. AND that I don’t always have to understand the steps, I just have to follow His lead. I also believe that He wants for me what I want for Victoria and Thad. And that as much as I love my children (a whole stinkin’ lot) it PALES in comparison to how much He loves me.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Proverbs 3:5 & 6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.
So. I am in the same spot I was last Friday at 9:00 before the phone rang at 9:01. And what is so awful about that? Not one bloomin’ thing. Not one.
Here is the video for “Wait and See” by Brandon Heath, and I’ll keep you posted. . .