Noooooooooo. . .not THAT kind of government. I’m talking one that’s WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more important than that.
Setting: Langley kitchen, 5:40 a.m. on a school morning. Daughter is sitting at the bar nibbling (as only she can nibble) at a dinner roll, Father is hunched over a bowl of Corn Chex and milk shoveling them down, Son is wandering aimlessly trying to argue his case of why he DOESN’T need to wear his shoulder bag at school today when he marches in the Book Character Parade as Indiana Jones. Mother is scurrying about monitoring three people (and a toasting bagel) at once.
Mother: Dude, if you don’t have the bag, it will be harder for people to know that you are Indy while you’re in the parade.
Son: (signaling with hands and pointing finger) Well. I’ve got the whip AND the fedora. AND he didn’t have the bag in the book. (Young Indiana Jones and the Tomb of Terror–a CLASSIC. Let me tell ya.)
Mother: Alright, baby. Whatever.
Father: Buddy, most people will recognize the bag, because he’s worn it so much in the movies. (Thad has never seen an Indiana Jones movie.)
Son: But he DIDN’T have it in the BOOK. (Mother and Father give up as they have a LOT of experience trying to argue with such definitive logic since Son is a cookie cutter image of Father and Mother deals with them BOTH. Son exits stage left to go to bedroom where he will supposedly brush his teeth but will, in fact, find something with which to play for the next ten minutes.)
Daughter: (yelling after him from kitchen) WELL, BUDDY, I THINK YOU SHOULD CARRY THE BAG. THAT’S THREE TO ONE AND IN THIS HOUSE WE HAVE DEMOCRACY RULE.
Father: (still shoveling in the Corn Chex) No. We have paterfamilias rule.
Daughter: What’s that?
Mother: Daddy rules.
Daughter: (yelling to her brother for clarification) SORRY, THAD. IT’S A DICTATORSHIP.
I can actually envision this in comic strip form. . .of course, I can’t draw, and I don’t write a comic strip. . .
Shortly after, Thad comes into the kitchen and says, “Let’s make a deal Momma.” “Okay.” “I’ll carry my SHOULDER BAG as my BACK PACK today. How about that?”
Sooooooooooooo. . .maybe he was THINKING while he was back in his room not brushing his teeth.
They still managed to make it out of the house (with much hustling and insistence) by 6:07, while I sit here and type this and am late for school.
But it was SO worth it. (cue Indiana Jones Theme Song)