Setting: End of school, kitchen, 6:15 a.m. Thad is completely entranced with his new Make Your Own Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book that he received for Victoria Day. They are running late.
Me: Thad, you need to concentrate on getting in the car and going to school.
Thad: I laugh in the face of getting in the car and going to school. Mwahhahahaha. . .
Setting: Same stinkin’ morning. . .Thad’s DADDY walks into the kitchen. . .Thad is still pouring over his book, pencil in hand, brow furrowed.
Tony: Boy, are ya ready to go to school? (This question is asked rather facetiously.)
Thad: No. Not really.
Setting: Today, kitchen, kids are going with Tony to meet Victoria’s new Girl Scout Leader and to give blood (Tony–not the kids) and I am staying here. Thad arrives next to me three minutes before departure after having been sent to brush his teeth. . .then put on a shirt. . .then wash his face–all separate things. His hair STILL looks like he fought a war.
Me: Thad. Go into your closet, look on the floor, get the blue brush (Why is your brush in your closet, son?), and bring it to me.
Thad: Why? Are you going to brush your hair?
Thad came to me yesterday and told me he had written a song. The tune was rather catchy (though the first line had me a little concerned), but you will just have to imagine the tune
I’m in love with a pretty girl, and a pretty girl loves me
Because I am megalodon fossil and she’s a paleontologist. . .
Oh. My. Goodness.
(BTW, if you read this and are in the habit of SEEING Thad or TALKING to Thad, do NOT mention the song. . .I would be in BIG trouble, thus instituting the shoulder droop.)